Future.

The word future does many things for me.

I suppose the biggest of emotions that I associate with the word future is fear.

Future however is also a source of inspiration.

~

I like to sit, looking out of my window and think where I will be in the future, whether I will achieve my dreams and aspirations.

Do I have that dream apartment? Do I live in my dream setting?
I like to think, that with enough hard work and effort, one day I will be there.
Materialist things can be worked for, they can be bought, they can be saved for.
But what about the things that only mother nature can take control of? Love?
Maybe these things are down to luck. Maybe due to individual changes to your own personality.
Would that not mean you were trying to be someone your not? That's a bit pointless in my opinion, you are who you are.
I believe there is someone out there for everyone, and when I think about my future, I believe that one day I will find that person.
~
Recently I have even begun to watch all these interior design programmes on day time TV.
Generally because there is naff all on.
Never-the-less I sit back and look at some of the places that these people live.
Grand Designs is fast becoming my favourite programme.
The people featured have worked their hardest to achieve their dreams and I hope that some day, in the Future I will also achieve everything I want out of life.
The future is what we make it in my opinion.
Great dreams, great aspirations and a great attitude make for a brighter future.
The only way is up.

The first dream I'm going to achieve is moving to New York.

I'm planning on driving there in a nice rusty VW camper, called Dave York.
A dream I'm planning on sharing with someone I have recently met.
And to be honest I couldn't think of a better person.

The future looks to be good.
I can not wait to live the dream.
x

Friends

Last night was band practise, had a right laugh to be honest.

I love them lads. Really keep me going.
Interview with a photographer, hitting the studio next week, getting some mug shots for the ol'myspace, a refreshed site for a new image we think :)

Friends, Tricky word, Tricky subject.

The word Friend seems to have been giving me more and more problems recently.

Seems to me that some peoples perception of the word is different to others.

For instance, in the twenty first century it seems to be impossible for a male to be friends with a female and visa-versa.

Friendships between a woman and a man seem to be subject to constant scrutiny.
Trust seems to be mistaken for love, affection mistaken for lust and compliments mistaken for blind minded fluttery.

Why is it wrong to remind a friend of her beauty? Remind her she has an amazing personality?~
The only difference I can see between her and one of my male friends is her anatomy.
I compliment my male friends all the time, hell, isn't that what friends are all about?
Some times I wish the world would grow up.
A more mature approach to life would make the world would be a better place.
~
You see, if I were to point out a woman's floors, well, that would be perfectly acceptable apparently. But to comment on her perfections, the aspects that make her the person that I know and trust as a friend, that's just frowned upon.
Why? Why has the world become so picky?
So judgemental?
Is this the way you all want to live? Seriously?
We don't live in a society where women are used as tools like we did only a few years ago.
Women have equal rights to men, equal career opportunities. Equal rights in democracy.
So just before you are about to judge a fellow woman on having an equal friendship with a man.
Remember, this is what you all fought for. Equal rights.
We shouldn't live in a sexist environment anymore.
Ancient history. So people, grow up.

Stand down and quit your judging.

The List.

So, today's been a bit of a bore.

Ive come to the decision, hoovering is The most tedious thing.

How can one person living in a house alone for 3 days produce so much dust.

I mean where the hell does it come from! Magic? I think so.

Made quite a few friends this week, randomly.

Spoken to a few new people I've been meaning to chat to for a while.

~

See the problem with a person like me is, I'm a classic specimen for the judge a book by its cover cliche. Its only after people actually speak to me and forget about my looks that they feel comfortable around me.

I think one thing I have realised this week is that I do exactly the same and to be honest I'm ashamed. I'm going to make it my resolution for this year.
Not to judge a book by its cover I suppose what I've learned lately is everyone is interesting and has a story to tell and its truly amazing.
Everyone deserves a chance and everyone is worth my time.
Unless of coarse I know the person enough to claim I dislike them.

~
Everyone I know has experienced if not one, but many things that I, myself am yet to experience.
I'm sad enough to actually own a list of things I want to do. Its ambitious I admit that, but there is nothing wrong with a bit of ambition.
Things like; Moving to New york, Drinking Kopi Luwak and playing on a stage with a Rickenbacker bass in hand.
Lots of materialistic things that I believe, combined with my dreams will make my life worth while. Call me a twat if you like..
But its intriguing to think that one day I may have experienced everything I would like to.
Bring on that day.

Sadly, Money Is Proportionate To Fun.

So tomorrow is a new day, a new horizon.

Not going to bring many treasures, the arrival of my parents,

returning from a weekend of the luxuries of camping.

Fun times indeed. Last night was event full,

Crewe sure delivered its surprises.

Today I realised that mending bridges and keeping your friends close

is the best way to tackle this so called "life".

To be fair though, I couldn't ask for a better bunch of friends.

Some I can rely on for company, others advice.

Never the less the combination of the two creates the

foundations upon which I am able to thrive.

Help is at hand whenever I hit a tough spot, when I hit a

hurdle they provide me with a step to aid my accent.

When I'm down, company is but a phone call away.

This is all a man needs. Honestly. The perfect

relationship is a dream of mine.

But the proof of the pudding is the word friend is a reality.

At the end of the day I think a systematic

approach to things will prove to be superior.

~

One thing I need to slip in here, is my hate for Laptop Chargers.

~

Back to the deep stuff. My mates brothers birthday tomorrow.

He's ruddy ten!

Apparently running round bragging about hes arrival into the

double digit crew.

Oh How I remember those days.

Running down the stairs at 6 am in the morning,

greeted by the smiling faces of the family,

Balloons in every colour imaginable.

Where did all my energy go.

Christ I didn't even get up till gone 8 this this Christmas just gone.

Its crazy. The age of ten I would be up at 3 in the morning,

rummaging around in my stocking looking at the goodies.

Sneaking in a cheeky chocolate.

Most of you will be like, Ash,

your only 17 what are you complaining about...

But honestly I'm immensely afraid I feel

like my childhood has been robbed.

You know that saying... "Time flies when your having fun"

well what a load of bull.

The past 7 years of my life have been nothing of the fun sort,

yet the years have racked up fast as.

5 months time I will be able to legally drink and buy cigarettes, fun.

~

Thing is though. Fun costs. No job, No money, No fun. I see a patern emerging here.

When I was young I would sit my arse on my little push bike

and pedal like mad until I reached the local park.

I would swing along, spin along, climb,

dig in the dirt and general mess about

And I would class it as the "best day of my life"

I would knock on every joe bloggs' door

ask them if they were "playing out".

Life was fun, care free. Now though,

and I hate to sound hard done to,

But I, and indeed my entire generation have been plunged

right into the deep end of a global recession.

Jobs are a rarity therefor money is tight.

No money, no fun.

Life's no fun.

Dreams.

Do you ever wake up and think, hell what am I doing here? I do, a lot. I always find myself floating between dreams and ideas of fame, ideas of riches and success. Sometimes I wish I had the strength to choose one of those dreams, go for it and never give up. Solider on, until a day arrives were I have achieved everything I ever wanted.

~

This enthusiasm is a quality I have discovered in many people over the years, for these people I have pure admiration. The scale of my jealousy was dramatically increased by my introduction to a certain someone only a few weeks ago, full of dreams and targets, that I am almost certain she will achieve.

~

Fueled full of enthusiasm and inspiration I myself have decided to step up my game. Ive chosen a career route and I'm going to do everything I can to find my place in this world. Make my life worth while. Another thing that's become apparent to me recently is that I despise the area that I live in and I'm making it my target to move away. To a more uplifting, fresh and inspirational setting.

~

As I said these are all dreams, dreams are sometimes a sin, a heavy burden and if not achieved sometimes devastating. Some dreams contain love, some a little less heartbreaking-owning your favourite guitar for instance. But monetary and materialistic dreams are nothing compared to the dream of settling down with your dream partner, living in your dream environment, dream house, having a family? There's lots to think about. All I wish for is someone who is willing to spend the rest of their live with me, someone I can trust, someone who I can cherish and also spoil.

~

My mother left our household at a devastating age on my behalf and its taken many years for me to recover from a blow like that. It just goes to show, that no matter who you decide to trust, in marriage and in being responsible for the up bringing of your own children that you will never fully understand the extents of any one's personality.

~

I wish for a better partner, one I can share my dreams with, my ambitions and one who will help and support me along the way. In exchange for the love and affection I believe that I can provide. Most people I speak to about this tell me I'm to young to be thinking about my future, I believe age is no matter. Just numbers, your as mature as you want to be, wise as your experiences let you be.

~

Moral of the story is. Everyone should live by one rule...

Have a dream? Chase it and never give up.